fun

happy happy happy

Featured in a new video

I was recently part of some promo videos for upcoming events at St. Louis Family Church. Check this one out. I'll have more as time goes on.

Bamboo is talking smack

I'm sure you have all seen my arch rivals NEW video, where he goes on to sully my good name.

Well, I'm not just gonna sit here and take it. I put up a new video to put Bamboo in his place.



Take THAT, little pansy.

New Videos!

Check it out all my loyal fans! You know who you are. I have a couple new videos up on my sweet youtube channel. just go to Sir Mark Roth's Late Knight Videos

Here are the latest 2 for your enjoyment!!!!

Here is my new promo video! Tell all your friends.


and this next one is SCARY!!! I was minding my own business at work when a ghost popped right up. Weird thing is i was shaking more than the ghost!


Stay tuned for more updates!

Love, Mark
and Guest.

Meet me, Mark Roth

This is me. I am an American. I finished high school with a 3.58 GPA. That's pretty high for those of you who don't know. Since school I have moved on to be in two of the most famous bands to ever exist: Company Picnic, and The Too Silent Ghost. On the side I use my vast knowledge of science to teach less fortunate people. I am 23 and 3/4 years old as of yesterday. I listen to Yanni on a regular basis. My arch rival, Bamboo Amigo, thinks he is so much better than me, but that's just because he spent his life studying cryptozoology, but he is so way not smarter on that subject. I may not have the years, but I know a lot on the subject.

I am also striving to be a contact juggler. No, that doesn't mean juggling corrective lenses, it is done with acrylic balls, such as this:



Feel free to ask me questions that you want answered in the form of post comments.

Love.

Gyroscopic Science is TOPS!

Today's lesson focuses on a toy for children of all ages: Tops!


The top is a very fascinating phenomenon. It defies all laws of gravity...except one.

Now you folks out there may be saying, "Whoa, hold on there, Mark! Don't tops spin on their bottoms? Then why the heck do they call them "tops?"

I believe I can answer that question and maybe even open your mind a little bit.

"Top" comes from the Latin word "Quercetum" meaning "An oak grove, and oak forest." In ancient days, the Mongols made tops out of the bark of oak trees. While they were climbing they saw acorns, which were at the top of the trees, and they kind of resemble the modern top. So now you know where they originated. Oh yeah, by the way, that isn't in any known history books but I got access to a secret journal of a 3rd Century Mongol pirate who first documented these objects.


I almost forgot. Tops are, like, gyroscopes. That's why they spin. All the gravity is focused on the center of the object, and thats why you never see a top spinning on its side. Well, unless it's done spinning and it falls over. I'm watching that new show "Cavemen" and it makes me realize that cavemen probably really discovered tops but they couldn't write about it on the walls.

Meet your guest columnist

This is our guest columnist, Guest Columnist. He is an all around great guy and super duper smart. Where I lack in knowledge, (I kid, i kid. what i mean is in the areas where i forgot to type out the full story or just plain didn't want to) Guest makes up for in brute strength. If you don't like his opinion then don't read.

We welcome a guest columnist

Dr. Roth, it's been awhile, I do apologize. The blog seems to be coming along swimmingly and I have enjoyed your most resent posts. It's good to see that your hypocrisy still knows no bounds. I was unfamiliar with UCB, but after reviewing a variety of their materials I realized that we share a common pursuit of engaging the narrow-minded and exposing their ignorance. Bill Clinton’s wife for example, some one I am sure UCB would be happy to engage……now, I realize that if you want to make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs. I also know that sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. That being said…..we're a generation of men raised by women. I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer we need. Plus, who the H E (DOUBLE HOCKY STICKS) is going to step into that batters box after her…..Oprah, Oprah Jr. (aka…Tyra Banks), Rosie Odonnell (Undisputed Heavyweight Man Hater of the World), Dr. Phil…….these aren’t women we want running our country. They are like putting a band-aids on someone with chronic heart disease. If we’re going to elect a women…..my pick is Dr. Ruth. She is German born, Jewish, trained as a sniper, seen actual military action (1948 Arab-Israeli War……so she already hates the same guys we do), speaks English, French, German, and Hebrew (this works out great considering what we know about the France, who btw…..would be speaking German if it wasn’t for the USA, Germany’s past, and it’s icing on the cake that she speaks the Messiah’s native tongue). Not to mention, this woman has helped more people, “where it really counts”, then the rest of the current political world combined and probably has the kind of personal information that will keep the wrong mouths shut and the right ones open. I don’t need to say another word……do the right thing America. Mark…..I’ll see ya when I see ya.

Mawwage

My sis is gettin married tonite. Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Don Roth

Lack of Posts

Dont worry my loyal fans. I am still alive. The noticeable lack of posts is certainly for good reason. but dont be worried.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6

See? told you.

For those of you familiar with The Too Silent Ghost, we have been working on some new items of music.

Stay tight, homies.

Do Space Cows Live On The Moooon?

Why is our moon called "The Moon" when other planets have moons with real names? It's not fair.

*Special bulletin from The Moon*

The Moon (Latin: Luna) is Earth's only natural satellite and the fifth largest moon in the Solar System. The average centre-to-centre distance from the Earth to the Moon is 384,403 kilometres (238,857 miles),a which is about 30 times the diameter of the Earth. The Moon has a diameter of 3,474 kilometres (2,159 miles)[1]—slightly more than a quarter that of the Earth. This means that the volume of the Moon is only 1/50th that of Earth. The gravitational pull at its surface is about a 1/6th of Earth's. The Moon makes a complete orbit around the Earth every 27.3 days, and the periodic variations in the geometry of the Earth–Moon–Sun system are responsible for the lunar phases that repeat every 29.5 days.

The gravitational attraction, and the centripetal forces generated by the rotation of the Moon and Earth around a common axis, the barycentre, is largely responsible for the tides on Earth. The energy dissipated in generating tides is directly responsible for the reduction in potential energy in the Moon-Earth orbit around the barycentre, resulting in a 3.8 cm yearly increase in the distance between the two bodies.[2] The Moon will continue to move slowly away from the Earth until the tidal effects between the two are no longer of significance, whereupon the Moon's orbit will stabilise.

The Moon is the only celestial body that humans have traveled to and landed on. The first artificial object to escape Earth's gravity and pass near the Moon was the Soviet Union's Luna 1, the first artificial object to impact the lunar surface was Luna 2, and the first photographs of the normally occluded far side of the Moon were made by Luna 3, all in 1959. The first spacecraft to perform a successful lunar soft landing was Luna 9 and the first unmanned vehicle to orbit the Moon was Luna 10, both in 1966.[1] The U.S. Apollo program has achieved the first (and only) manned missions to date, resulting in six landings between 1969 and 1972. Human exploration of the Moon ceased with the conclusion of the Apollo program, although as of 2007, several countries have announced plans to send either people or robotic spacecraft to the Moon. On 4 December 2006, NASA outlined plans for a permanent base on the Moon as part of preparation for a voyage to Mars. Construction of the base is scheduled to take about five years, with the first preliminary missions by 2019.[3]



I don't know what that was supposed to mean. It didn't explain my problem at all.

Update on the planet

I was actually mistaken. Gargleplex 2000 is the moon of the planet Quezlbaxa in the Delta Quadrant

Quick post for all the Russians out there

I've been researching star charts and such things and I was lucky enough to stumble on a new planet. Check it out.


Scientists have failed to give me the recognition I deserve for this discovery. Found within a massive star cloud, officially the planet is named "Gargleplex 2000" but I like to call it "Symplosium 5"


Sign my petition to rename this planet.

With Power Marketing, I got a new brain.

I recommend this to everyone. Especially Brian Schreiber

Update on Static Electricity by guest columnist

Mark, long time reader, first time commenter. I have had some fun with "recreational" SE in the past and your right on with the kids loving it, but I was wondernig about the darker side of SE. I think we all know that too much of anything can end up being a nightmare. The following article is just an example of what I am taking about. They call it "lightning", but we all know what kind of friction 45 year old thigh's can create. My theory is that proper diet and exercise may have saved this womens life. One thing is for sure, had the bride pick something other then polyester for her brides maid dresses, her best friend may still be with us. What are your thoughts?

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) -- A woman who was to serve as the matron of honor at her best friend's wedding was struck by lightning and killed during the rehearsal dinner on the eve of the ceremony.

Cindy Osler, 45, had gone outside with the best man Friday night to check their car windows when she was hit by a bolt of lightning.Advertisement

"Everybody was so happy, and then it became a nightmare," said Dave Tarnowski, the best man.

The bolt tore through the pavement and knocked Tarnowski down. The wedding was postponed indefinitely after Osler's death.

"She was my best friend," said Lisa Lecompte, the bride. "She was like a sister to me and a second mom to my kids."

Osler is survived by her husband of 25 years, Frank, three children and two grandchildren.

(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Hab SoSlI' Quch!

Todays lesson is on....

STATIC ELECTRICITY!!!

Have you ever travelled down a carpeted hallway and walked into a door, only to get a sharp pain? That is what happens when you don't turn the handle, moron.

Well static electricity is almost the same thing, except the pain is completely localized into the area on your hand that touched the doorknob. Static electricity is built up by the friction of your feet rubbing on the carpet. It can deliver a mega shock to an unsuspecting victim.

*Fun experiment for kids!!!*
Put on your fancy socks and run around the living room a few hundred times while dragging your feet, then run up behind parent figure and touch their ear! They will love it!

If you are lucky enough to have a scientifical building in your locality, stop on by and ask for their top static electrician. Ask if they have a static generator and LET THE FUN BEGIN!

Here's little Johnny Ingoldsby in his latest hair-raising adventure.


And if thats not enough, a young Lauren Winchester gets spooked by her big brother acting like a monster.

Have a great static electricity story? Send it in!

Don't end up like this guy:
Remeber to ALWAYS discharge your static build-up.

A bunch of crop

Todays lesson is on the very controversial subject of crop circles.

Crop circles started in November of 1857 on the property of local New Jersey farmer, Ralph Wilkinson. It was believed that "aliens" created these "crop circles" until the untimely death of Ralph in 1873. In his last journal entry, he scribbled hastily "I made the crop circles." Ralph disappeared mysteriously and his body was never found. Some say he still lives to this day.

Based on this story i have dedicated my entire week to finding out the truth about these crop circles. After much experimenting in my backyard with my lawnmower. It turned out pretty well. Here's what i made.
It was at that moment that i received some revelation on the subject. Aliens had nothing to do with these crop circles. It was billion dollar corporations with their fancy desks and their slick motor vehicles. They were using this for advertisement. THINK ABOUT IT! Why else would the so-called "crop circles" be so similar to products and services?

Examples:

This is nothing but a blatant ad for indian casinos. Notice the resemblance to the headdress.
Example 2:
It's pacman, the lovable little yellow munching thing that gets chased by ghosts.

Example 3:
They didn't even try to make this look like a real crop circle.

Example 4:
This is just a worldwide ad campaign for Firefox.
Example 7:
This isn't even a crop circle. It is a giant footprint.

So there you have it. I believe i have put to shame the theory of aliens creating crop circles. Our science has been contaminated with camera tricks and rap music. That's right, Mexicans didn't create crop circles. Beings from another planet did with their UFOs.

Leave me a comment and suggest subjects for me to explain.

1+1 equals MATH!

Unless you've been living in a cave somewhere than you have heard of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. If you haven't then maybe its because it doesn't air in the US. Well heres a small clip, the one that made me fall in love with it.




and while im at it, check out Heat Vision and Jack:

Is a purple fruit picker called a plumber?

I get asked this question all the time: "Mark, which way do toilets flush?" And i tell them "Next time you are doing your business just watch it and see for yourself." Then they walk off mad because i didn't tell them the answer. Well i made a video to try to explain this phenomenon.

enjoy.

A strong performance with Uncle Muscles

I forgot to come up with something clever

Just a reminder, this blog is brought to you by...

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Now with milk added IN THE BOX for those "on-the-go" mornings.

*Disclaimer*
The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the blog owner or any affiliates.

I owe a lot to Des Moines

Gee, thanks homies! For all the great feedback and support!

I have a lot of tight new lessons in the coming weeks. I am planning a giant one for tomorrow. Just you wait.


It will inform!


Love, Mark

Absolute zero is cool

Today i will explain how, and why, a thermometer works.











The item in this picture is a thermometer. A thermometer is used in lots of different ways to tell you the same thing: The temperature. Thermometers such as in the example photo are basically a glass tube filled with mercury. Mercury is a type of metal with a very low melting point (Like Bamboo's mother). Mercury becomes hard at around -32 degrees Kelvin, or 24.3 degrees Fahrenheit. In Terminator 2, T1000 turns into a big pool of mercury then the seperate parts all come together to make him a real human again. But don't worry, that's not even plausible.

Anywho, in a thermometer when the mercury gets hotter it checks the internet with a built in satellite in the metal tip so it knows exactly where to go to show you the temperature. All of this may sound extremely difficult, but it's not. It can be reproduced with a glass of orange juice and a firewire cable forced into a wall outlet, but i don't have time to explain that yet.

Little known fact, the planet Mercury was named after the metal because the entire planet is made of the stuff. Seriously, a human couldn't walk on the surface of Mercury because he would sink lower than Bamboo when he told everybody that i wet my pants at my high school prom. Scientists have developed special crafts for gathering information about the planets surface.
Information on building your own rocket boat, and more.

If you have any questions about todays science lesson don't hesitate to ask. I'm filled with answers

Super!

This just in, a new space age gliding boot has just been invented. NASA, youve done it again!

Fan question: "Why is U2 the greatest band in the world?"

Thats an easy question...its because they write great songs for adults of today. plus they have such great songs and lyrics like their biggest hit ever, vertigo.

First Post

Hello all. I am mark roth and i will attempt to explain how the universe works...If you have any questions you would like me to answer just leave a comment or something.

First and foremost i would like to start by telling you that space is definitely not a vacuum. This is a subject i know a lot about and i will go into more detail as time goes on.

Stay tuned to see way hip updates on sciences biggest questions!!!!